STOP COMPROMISING your creative self
(read time about 6 minutes)
Compromise is one of the keys to a happy life! Where differences are settled in a way that both parties are willing to accept. A win-win situation.
A win-loose situation is when you compromise too much. You compromise too much regarding your basic needs, values, and principles.
It is not just about how you compromise with others. It is also about how you compromise with yourself.
Self-compromise is the relationship with yourself and where you act against your own wishes, intentions, and priorities. You stop doing the things that you love and no longer identify the hobbies or activities that you love doing.
If you are a person who naturally compromises, how does that automatically impact on your creativity? Where do you compromise too much and feel like you are losing all the time and not creatively growing and developing as you want to?
Compromising your creativity is when you self-sabotage, settle for less, bargain with yourself, have poor boundaries around your practice, put your creative needs last, and devalue the importance of creativity for you.
HOW DO WE COMPROMISE OURSELVES?
Here are some examples of where you might creatively compromise:
The materials you use
The space you work in
The time you spend
The selling work cheaper than you want to
The not believing 'your good' enough,
The comparing to others
The saying yes to things when you really want to say no
The putting things off till tomorrow
The settling for less
The hiding yourself and your work
The creating what others want
The pleasing others
The negotiating and bargaining with yourself to justify the time and money spent
The keeping it as a hobby
The doing work for free
The I don't deserve it
Do you recognise any of the above?
It's not until a sense of dissatisfaction, something feels off, or a lack of excitement in life that you realise that compromising on your creativity has gone too far and you are in a loose-loose situation. You have given away too much time, attention, and resources to other things that take you away from being your true creative self.
You may not even realise that you are doing it, as it can happen in microdoses. There are so many micro ways that you give ground, little things that you don't even notice and over time accumulate and erode your confidence and enthusiasm.
Too much creative compromise can reduce passion and motivation, making it difficult to engage in your artistic practice.
WHY DO WE COMPROMISE OURSELVES?
We primarily compromise ourselves out of a feeling of fear. This fear can manifest itself in many ways and many different forms, such as:
Fear of failure, negative criticism or judgment, rejection, inadequacy, regret, success, change, or the unknown.
This fear manifests itself with automatic negative self-talk, where you give yourself permission to stop showing up creatively. It works in the short term, but long-term life can feel flatter and greyer.
COMPROMISING SELF-TALK SOUNDS LIKE:
I'll just go and do the dishes instead of painting for 20 minutes
That paint is too expensive so I'll settle for this cheaper brand, even though I know it won't last as long.
My friend asked me to take her to a garden center and I can't let her down
My partner will get lonely if I spend too much time in my craft room
There's no rush to get this done as there is always tomorrow
That artist is doing so well with pet portraits maybe I should do that if I want to sell my work, even though I prefer painting food.
Negative self-talk erodes your commitment and keeps you stuck in your comfort zone. And that is its job! Negative self-talk is about keeping you safe, not happy. That is how our brains are wired. Always safety first.
When you recognise this safety mode and bring it to your awareness you can do something about it and move towards a win-win situation.
What would a win-win creative self look like, be, have, or do? What is your ideal artistic practice? What would showing up fully be like? What would freedom of expression feel like?
HOW TO CREATE WITHOUT COMPROMISE
ONE: Understand
The 'why' creativity is so important to you. The 'why' is your understanding of what drives you to want to create and what brings you back time and time again to that need to express yourself.
TWO: Boundaries
Keep your self-promises and commit to them. Think about boundaries around, time, space, people, money, intellectual property, and resources.
For example, I will commit to painting for an hour first thing in the morning. I will commit to using the best materials I can get my hands on. I will commit to decluttering a space just for me to use as a mini studio.
What are your non-negotiables? What is the minimum you will accept for yourself? Now draw a line, don't overstep it. Commit to it.
THREE: Courage
Courage is about taking a leap of faith no matter what you automatically believe the risks may be. Ways around this are:
Focus on the benefits of showing up and prioritising your artistic self and practice
Reduce the impact of the negatives by actively problem-solving and finding solutions.
Home in on the 'why' being creative is so important to you. Help that drive you forward.
Don’t worry about what others think and stop comparing yourself to others
Pursue things you are passionate about
If you were bolder and braver what would you do? It needs to be something a little out of your comfort zone but not too much that you spring right back into your shell again.
FOUR: Self-respect
Where you take action in alignment with your values and priorities in life. Self-respect is about working from a place of integrity, where you are being honest with yourself about your needs and wants.
Integrity is integrating all parts of yourself into your life and being whole. That dissatisfaction you feel is your creative part feeling ignored and dismissed, partitioned into a box for later that is allowed out every now and again.
FIVE: Start welcoming your creative self into your everyday life.
Commit to being that creative self every moment.
Act in ways that support your creative self and be its biggest supporter and cheerleader.
Thank it for the amazing things that it brings into your life.
Lastly, what would life be like when you give permission for your creative self to take the lead?